Advice for a father

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Ursus
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Advice for a father

Post by Ursus » Sun May 03, 2015 7:01 pm

Greetings,

I am a long-time (5+ years) reader of Wapsi Square and come before you as a father with a conundrum. My daughter graduated college this weekend and badly needs help with her body image, clothing choices, and especially foundation garment choices. I don't know her measurements but she's definitely a D cup, maybe DD, and is a big "husky" girl. Her mother and I divorced and I wasn't in the picture as much as I'd have liked to be, which is one me. Her mother raised her in an evangelical Christian context and she came up with a very poor body image and no desire at all to dress well. I learned this weekend that she wears the same sports bra every day and it is over three years old. Everything is where it shouldn't be and it does absolutely nothing for her appearance.

She needs to go job hunting now in a professional career and I'm worried.

I want to help. Send her some of the websites I've discovered through Wapsi Square, etc. but have no idea how to go about this. We don't have the best communication and I haven't the faintest idea how to bring this up. To encourage her to go buy some nice bras that don't over enhance her appearance, but supoort everything and get it into the right place. She HATES bra shopping.

Help?

Thanks!
Ursus

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Atomic
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Re: Advice for a father

Post by Atomic » Sun May 03, 2015 9:52 pm

Hmmm....

While it helps to keep in mind that bras are a fashion item rather than health necessity, the main point here should be how you support her and help her make better choices. Obviously you care about her future, and that's your segue for conversation.

I can only hope she went to a school that's not producing human veal, people entirely focused on their own sensitivities in response to what used to be ignored as the various lumps and bumps of the world. At any rate, may I suggest approaching this from a "Let me tell you about my journey" sharing your experience in the job/finding a job market.

By making her aware of how people WILL be judging her actions and appearance, you can refer to various images, articles, or whatever of related topics. The business suit, the little black dress, how much/little jewelry to wear, and so on -- to include foundation items. Going for a physical therapy type job? Wear good stuff that allows mobility. Going for the legal assistant type job? Wear professional (but not harsh) suit combinations. Etc, etc.

It's not the bra, it's the outfit. The bra can be part of the outfit.

Good luck with all that! I'm going through something similar with my daughter and getting her out in the job market, too.
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DinkyInky
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Re: Advice for a father

Post by DinkyInky » Tue May 05, 2015 10:23 pm

Atomic wrote:Hmmm....

While it helps to keep in mind that bras are a fashion item rather than health necessity, the main point here should be how you support her and help her make better choices. Obviously you care about her future, and that's your segue for conversation.

I can only hope she went to a school that's not producing human veal, people entirely focused on their own sensitivities in response to what used to be ignored as the various lumps and bumps of the world. At any rate, may I suggest approaching this from a "Let me tell you about my journey" sharing your experience in the job/finding a job market.

By making her aware of how people WILL be judging her actions and appearance, you can refer to various images, articles, or whatever of related topics. The business suit, the little black dress, how much/little jewelry to wear, and so on -- to include foundation items. Going for a physical therapy type job? Wear good stuff that allows mobility. Going for the legal assistant type job? Wear professional (but not harsh) suit combinations. Etc, etc.

It's not the bra, it's the outfit. The bra can be part of the outfit.

Good luck with all that! I'm going through something similar with my daughter and getting her out in the job market, too.
I disagree. I cannot do even a brisk walk without a bra, not even when they were perky lil C cups, and they're now a lot larger. I also do excercises that strengthen the pectoral muscles underneath so they're well built and not sagging, and still cannot walk down the stairs free range.
That said, I agree with the rest of this, and respectfully add:
She needs a basic fitting to know her size, and if she likes the comfort of exercise bras(or hates/can't wear metal wire bras like me due to allergies), get her into proper fitted, padded ones, and tell her she needs a minimum of four, including one that's slightly larger to account for lady flo bloat, and they need to be replaced every three to six months if she washes them frequently like weekly frequently.
I am rather large busted these days, so I sleep in either a t-shirt bra or a sports bra for comfort, and can relate to liking a simpler one that feels less like armour. I also like Monica stay locked in while in public to avoid embarrassing situations.
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