The only thing 2012-11-06

[Fairportfan]

So, when does the boss get to the "you're a loose cannon" schpeel? I mean, that is almost required with these "renegade cop" scenarios.

Does he need to? After all, Wapsi Square has a very loose canon of mythologies.

Drops a 32 pound loose cannonball into the pun jar.

That's not a cannonball ... it's a slug.

{Hands up, anyone who gets the reference.}

(Drops ten fig Newtons in the pun jar.)

[Atomic]

That's not a cannonball ... it's a slug.

{Hands up, anyone who gets the reference.}

(Drops ten fig Newtons in the pun jar.)

Raises hand, and tosses a joule encrusted newton, garnished with ergs, into... aw, hell, you know the rest.

[Jabberwonky]

With the number of professional athetes that 'get into a little trouble' I don't think putting them on a court with vampires would be a good idea...

EDIT: Doh! In reference to Dave three comments back...

[Mark N]

That's not a cannonball ... it's a slug.

{Hands up, anyone who gets the reference.}

(Drops ten fig Newtons in the pun jar.)

Raises hand, and tosses a joule encrusted newton, garnished with ergs, into... aw, hell, you know the rest.

Sorry to be the nitwit here, but could you share this with the rest of the class??? PLEASE!!!

[Fairportfan]

That's not a cannonball ... it's a slug.

{Hands up, anyone who gets the reference.}

(Drops ten fig Newtons in the pun jar.)

Raises hand, and tosses a joule encrusted newton, garnished with ergs, into... aw, hell, you know the rest.

Sorry to be the nitwit here, but could you share this with the rest of the class??? PLEASE!!!

Okay. Physics distinguishes between mass and weight - weight being the force exerted on a mass by gravity. A pound is a measure of weight; a kilogram is a unit of mass. On the Moon, a pound weight would weigh roughly 2.7 ounces. A kilogram would still be a kilogram - though it's equivalent weight would be roughly 6.4 ounces, vs 2.4 pounds on Earth.

Got it, so far?

Systems of measurement. FPS (Foot/Pound/Second) is what's generally used every day in the US. MKS or CGS (Meter/Kilogram/Second or Centimeter/Gram/Second) are used in most of the rest of the world and in science.

Weight is mass times the acceleration of gravity (trust me on this).

In MKS, the unit of weight is the Newton, and equals 1 KgMeter/sec². Since the acceleration of gravity is close enough to 10 meters/sec², a mass of one Kg weighs basically ten Newtons. (This explains my Pun Jar tribute. "Figs" was just there to be smart-ass.)

Working the other way, the mass unit in FPS is the slug. The acceleration of gravity is 32 ft/sec². Weight is defined as SlugFeet/sec².

(Does light begin to dawn?)

Therefore one slug weighs 32 SlugFeet/sec² ... or 32 pounds.

Was it worth it to understand the semi-feeble jokes?

===============

EDIT to add "s' to end of "joke".

FURTHER EDIT to add: An "erg" is 1 CentimeterGram/sec², BTW.

EVEN MORE FURTHER EDIT: as opposed to an "erg" that is a type of desert terrain.

[Atomic]

Mark N -- Apologies -- Physics jokes are horrible to explain. At least I didn't say anything about dyning with vampires.... oops...

[Fairportfan]

Mark N -- Apologies -- Physics jokes are horrible to explain. At least I didn't say anything about dyning with vampires.... oops...

Oopsie - did i confuse ergs and dynes?

Yes - i did.

Bad Me.

[Jabberwonky]

This is why no one's scrambling for tickets to the annual Physics Dept. dinner...

[Mark N]

I am the one to apologize, it was that I did not get the slug reference before the explanation. I am one of those freaky people that understand quantum physics and all other types of physics pretty well as long as I leave out the math proofs. In other words, I can easily understand the concept but not the numbers that go with it (good with literature and history but horrible with math).

[MerchManDan]

This is why no one's scrambling for tickets to the annual Physics Dept. dinner...

I'd suppose not; if it's the same Physics Dept. as depicted here, everybody would've bought their tickets months in advance.

[Boxilar]

This is why no one's scrambling for tickets to the annual Physics Dept. dinner...

I'd suppose not; if it's the same Physics Dept. as depicted here, everybody would've bought their tickets months in advance.

It has been said that dissecting a joke is like dissecting a frog. Neither survives the experience.

[scantrontb]

They finally let Suzie clean up....

...with the Chief's shirt pocket apparently....

I know this is just a wee bit late... but you do NOT get to clean up in the middle of an ass-chewing!...(esp. not with the chief's shirt...) so how DID she get cleaned up? absorbed the blood by osmosis?, Nano-Tech? did Paul do a multi-panel typo?

[Jabberwonky]

They finally let Suzie clean up....

...with the Chief's shirt pocket apparently....

I know this is just a wee bit late... but you do NOT get to clean up in the middle of an ass-chewing!...(esp. not with the chief's shirt...) so how DID she get cleaned up? absorbed the blood by osmosis?, Nano-Tech? did Paul do a multi-panel typo?

With these?

[Atomic]

This is why no one's scrambling for tickets to the annual Physics Dept. dinner...

I'd suppose not; if it's the same Physics Dept. as depicted here, everybody would've bought their tickets months in advance.

Ok, ok -- I will now inflict upon you the most ultimate uber-geek physics joke I know. It was in the form of a cartoon seen on the bulletin board:

Scene: Cartoon of two scientists, slightly rumpled in their lab coats and glasses, male and female, holding hands as they walk along the beach. He is accompanied by a pair of Great Danes, she by a pair of toy Poodles. They're dating. They've discovered that they each named their dogs Stefan and Boltzmann.

Badum-Kish!

And now, allowing that you haven't had to recover from a spasm of rib-tickling mirth, the explanation:

The Stefan-Boltzmann law is a formula having to do with the radiation of energy from warm/hot/very very hot objects, such as the sun, or, you, for that matter. And (here it comes!) it has two forms, having to do with scale.

Thank you, thank you! Try the fish!

Remote sensing was actually a fun course, covering everything from snapshot photography to measuring temperatures of planets. One of the exam questions was calculating how many ants were on the beach based on a photo spectrum. Assuming no ants were stacked or overlapped, of course... (225,000 it turned out). Another was how tall the grass was, under a layer of snow.

Oh, I'm getting moist....

[Julie]

I am the one to apologize, it was that I did not get the slug reference before the explanation. I am one of those freaky people that understand quantum physics and all other types of physics pretty well as long as I leave out the math proofs. In other words, I can easily understand the concept but not the numbers that go with it (good with literature and history but horrible with math).

You and me both. I'm great with the concepts, but not so awesome with the math...which is funny when you consider that math is the one subject for which I was accelerated a year (I just was in the advanced classes with the rest of the kids my age for the other subjects). Anyhow, I'm glad the joke was further explained.

[bmonk]

Mark N -- Apologies -- Physics jokes are horrible to explain. At least I didn't say anything about dyning with vampires.... oops...

Just remember:

THE PHYSICS RULE:

Never take more than three data points. There will always be some kind of
graph paper on which they fall in a straight line.

THE PHYSICS RULE, FIRST COROLLARY:

If you have only one kind of graph paper, never take more than two data
points.

[jwhouk]

Whenever I see "Dyning", I always think of Agatha for some reason.

[Fairportfan]

Whenever I see "Dyning", I always think of Agatha for some reason.

Well, considering her reactions to Lars, Gil and Tarvek, one must assume she is hetero.

[Jabberwonky]

Whenever I see "Dyning", I always think of Agatha for some reason.

Well, considering her reactions to Lars, Gil and Tarvek, one must assume she is hetero.

Ow.

[MerchManDan]

This is why no one's scrambling for tickets to the annual Physics Dept. dinner...

I'd suppose not; if it's the same Physics Dept. as depicted here, everybody would've bought their tickets months in advance.

It has been said that dissecting a joke is like dissecting a frog. Neither survives the experience.

If you're implying I removed the funny from Jabber's comment via deconstruction, I strongly object. Instead, I merely expanded upon it.