Work Within the Story Problem 2016-02-01

[GlytchMeister]

BLAM ... Headshot ...

Although letting Zombies come this close is dangerous all in itself. Especially with a horde in the immediate area and her making noise so close to herself ...
Not the best solution if you don't want to end up as Zombie-Food(TM)

Also, no ear protection.
Just like the survivors slowly going deaf in 'The Walking Dead'.

HMMM. That brings up a fairly major problem. I wonder what can be used to make a good earplug that can be made in the wild... Maybe some kind of soft wax melted into wool or cotton or something? Like, the wax on the outside of those little tiny cheese wheels that come in the bags? What're they called... Babybel minis or something?

Huh. Where does wax even come from? Maybe beeswax would be easier to get a hold of.

Aw, crap, I almost forgot, bees are dying.

Welp, I guess I'm using a bow and arrow if the apocalypse happens! I need my hearing. Especially if I lose or break my glasses. I can't see clearly for more than few feet without them. Blind and deaf in a post-apocalyptic world = dead.

[AnotherFairportfan]

May i recommend Museum Replicas, founded by my friend, the late Hank Reinhardt.

They sell a lot of flashy stuff, replicas of the stupid swords movie characters carry, cosplay stuff, etc., but when Hank ran it, they sold only exact replicas of real historical weapons, made in Spain and India by real sword smiths. The replicas are still, i believe, in the catalog.

Wikipedia says:

Thanks in part to Reinhardt's access to the Tower of London Armories, facilitated by his friendship with Ewart Oakeshott, the Armories' head curator, the firm was able to produce quality replicas

If you want something that will really kill things, and do it efficiently, RML's replicas are well worth considering.

[oldmanmickey]

I said "average." We're not all that boring. I'm not that exciting, due to a lack of funding, but a buddy of mine has a truly awe-inspiring collection of traditionally-forged katanas and such. Another friend has a warhammer that he cast himself. It has spikes and it looks absolutely wicked. It's also extremely heavy, though. Good thing he's as strong as Ajax. I can barely lift the damn thing, and I'm no wimp.

Well my young friend just exposure to the wonderful, talented ladies and gentlemen that compose this forum makes one above average. Reading the war stories and life experiences gives one options to consider that very likely one would never have on their own. So dont sell yourself short, your not boring at all.

[GlytchMeister]

Dang, I'm getting confidence boosts from all over the place today.

[Catawampus]

Just like the survivors slowly going deaf in 'The Walking Dead'.

I lost interest in that show and stopped watching it, but one of my favourite scenes was towards the very beginning, where he fired his revolver while inside of that tank.

I wonder what can be used to make a good earplug that can be made in the wild...

Beeswax. Clay. Pebbles. Coal. Moss. Chewed-up leaves (just be careful of what kind). Stems. Plant fibers. Seaweed. Spermaceti. Snow. Fruits and berries. Fungi. Animal pelts. Cartilage. Tallow. Tadpoles.

[Just Old Al]

Combat shovel:

Nope - sod edger - half-moon of nice tough, sharp steel that swings very nicely. The blade is actually quite light, and they spin well. Easy to sharpen on a belt linisher as well.

Hey, I get bored doing lawn work, OK?

I do keep an entrenching tool in each truck, though - damn closest thing to a battle-axe, especially the ones with the sharpened side to the balde.

You guys really are a bad influence...

[GlytchMeister]

You guys really are a bad influence...

Isn't it great?

[Sgt. Howard]

Combat shovel:

Nope - sod edger - half-moon of nice tough, sharp steel that swings very nicely. The blade is actually quite light, and they spin well. Easy to sharpen on a belt linisher as well.

Hey, I get bored doing lawn work, OK?

I do keep an entrenching tool in each truck, though - damn closest thing to a battle-axe, especially the ones with the sharpened side to the balde.

You guys really are a bad influence...

German E-tool, the square-bladed short shovel. One edge is sharpened- it is vicious.

[DinkyInky]

BLAM ... Headshot ...

Although letting Zombies come this close is dangerous all in itself. Especially with a horde in the immediate area and her making noise so close to herself ...
Not the best solution if you don't want to end up as Zombie-Food(TM)

Also, no ear protection.
Just like the survivors slowly going deaf in 'The Walking Dead'.

HMMM. That brings up a fairly major problem. I wonder what can be used to make a good earplug that can be made in the wild... Maybe some kind of soft wax melted into wool or cotton or something? Like, the wax on the outside of those little tiny cheese wheels that come in the bags? What're they called... Babybel minis or something?

Huh. Where does wax even come from? Maybe beeswax would be easier to get a hold of.

Aw, crap, I almost forgot, bees are dying.

Welp, I guess I'm using a bow and arrow if the apocalypse happens! I need my hearing. Especially if I lose or break my glasses. I can't see clearly for more than few feet without them. Blind and deaf in a post-apocalyptic world = dead.

Cut a strip of dried pine sap. Chew pine sap until soft. Stick in ears. Don't ask.

[GlytchMeister]

Well, that just makes me wanna ask.

[Warrl]

Cut a strip of dried pine sap. Chew pine sap until soft. Stick in ears. Don't ask.

No point in asking; you won't be able to hear the answer.

(Deposits a set of noise-canceling headphones in the pun jar.)

[Sgt. Howard]

Well, that just makes me wanna ask.

The BIG trick is getting them out once the sap sets...

[FreeFlier]

BLAM ... Headshot ...

Although letting Zombies come this close is dangerous all in itself. Especially with a horde in the immediate area and her making noise so close to herself ...
Not the best solution if you don't want to end up as Zombie-Food(TM)

Also, no ear protection.
Just like the survivors slowly going deaf in 'The Walking Dead'.

HMMM. That brings up a fairly major problem. I wonder what can be used to make a good earplug that can be made in the wild... Maybe some kind of soft wax melted into wool or cotton or something? Like, the wax on the outside of those little tiny cheese wheels that come in the bags? What're they called... Babybel minis or something?

Huh. Where does wax even come from? Maybe beeswax would be easier to get a hold of.

Aw, crap, I almost forgot, bees are dying.

Welp, I guess I'm using a bow and arrow if the apocalypse happens! I need my hearing. . . .

Cut a strip of dried pine sap. Chew pine sap until soft. Stick in ears. Don't ask.

I have read that a layer of beeswax over rubber pencil erasers works well . . . for removal, the eraser needs to be pierced and strung onto a stout thread before coating.

OTOH, reusable rubber/plastic (not foam) commercial earplugs are really pretty cheap.

For another option, in a Zombieclypse(TM), the National Firearms Act (along with most other laws) won't be in effect . . . and suppressors (silencers) are surprisingly easy to make.

This also prevents zombies being attracted by the noise.

Depending on the exact nature of the Zombieclypse(TM) in question, flamethrowers might also work.

Or high voltage . . . a zombie-sized bugzapper!

Then there's the mechanical approach . . . figure out how to get them to funnel themselves into a large woodchipper . . . if you do that right, you don't even need to do anything but watch!

. . . Especially if I lose or break my glasses. I can't see clearly for more than few feet without them. Blind and deaf in a post-apocalyptic world = dead.

Not necessarily . . . you might just be enslaved.

--FreeFlier

[GlytchMeister]

...ok, now accepting applications to the GlytchMeister Post-Apocalyptic team: ophthalmologists and anyone who can make a good set of glasses! I am NOT getting enslaved!

[KnightDelight]

You folks are too deeply immersed in movie, TV, and comic book fluff to really know what skill will be most helpful in a real zombie apocalypse. Long distance running. No hand held weapon is going to last long against a zombie horde. The weapon might hold up, but you won't. Unlike is depicted on the sources I mentioned, you will tire quickly. Especially with a heavy weapon. Even with a light weapon, it will sap your strength all too fast. With a normal human opponent, a good slash will disable him/her pretty quickly but the zombies will be crazed animals with no fear or pain threshold. Worse than animals actually, due to that lack of pain thing and not caring what happens to them. And, of course, ammo also runs out and weapons fail when over used.

Your only realistic recourse will be to run. Run far and fast and keep on running. At least run from the larger masses of zombies. A few at a time, you can handle. Try to run at a right angle to the mob since they seem to go in one direction until distracted by some loud sound. This is where a grenade might do it's best work by throwing it as far as possible in a direction away from you. Hopefully they will all turn and run towards that. Then keep on going in that direction.

The best place run to will be a well stocked underground bunker. Especially a hidden one. Then just wait until they all rot away. The far North might also be good. It's unlikely they can keep going through below zero conditions. No body heat and all that. They also will not be stopping to put on coats and snuggy warm Uggs. Plus, in the far North, there is much less likelihood of diseases getting you. Especially ones from rotting corpses. So arctic survival skills would also be handy, in addition to running.

I'm thinking it might be a good place to go in any apocalypse, actually. Antarctica being the better since it is actually based on solid ground. Especially if you have a hidden bunker there. If not, shack up with whatever group you can who is already there. If not that make friends quickly with the indigenous people. Pulling a sled full of hunting tools might gain you some favor. Don't bring blubber. Blubber they will already have.

[Opus the Poet]

Combat shovel:

Nope - sod edger - half-moon of nice tough, sharp steel that swings very nicely. The blade is actually quite light, and they spin well. Easy to sharpen on a belt linisher as well.

Hey, I get bored doing lawn work, OK?

I do keep an entrenching tool in each truck, though - damn closest thing to a battle-axe, especially the ones with the sharpened side to the balde.

You guys really are a bad influence...

Trenching tools were used by both sides in WWI as melee weapons, swung like battle axes.
I still remember reading "All Quiet on the Western Front" in HS.

[GlytchMeister]

*applause*

An excellent analysis, Sir Delight. A little unfortunate for one such as me... I'm hopeless at long-distance running. I can sprint like a criminal, but ask me to run a significant distance and I won't make it.

Asthma, lung and windpipe damage from pneumonia and several cases of bronchitis, and a higher percentage of fast-twitch muscle fibers as opposed to slow-twitch ones, you see.

I can, however, hike and walk for eternity. Boy Scouts, an intimate knowledge of what kind of shoe my feet like due to having had surgeries on my Achilles' tendons, and a year in Chicago suburbs with no car and a job saw to that.

I guess I can ride a bike.

[Dave]

I can, however, hike and walk for eternity. Boy Scouts, an intimate knowledge of what kind of shoe my feet like due to having had surgeries on my Achilles' tendons, and a year in Chicago suburbs with no car and a job saw to that.

I guess I can ride a bike.

I wonder if a hybrid approach might work for you? It's not as constantly aerobic as running... more like a more-energy-efficient walk due to the energy storage in the spring mechanism.

[GlytchMeister]

...hmmm...

Ooh! I know! Those super-fast springed stilt things! Uhh... Hold on, lemme google them...

These!

Pretty simple, mechanically speaking. I bet I could build some myself.

[Opus the Poet]

I guess I can ride a bike.

I have a T-shirt that puts the zombie apocalypse in just that perspective. Used to be on Woot Shirt. Yay! still there. http://shirt.woot.com/offers/rule-no-1-cardio