Boxilar wrote: Well said. I think there's another element here, too. Phix, in her own bloody way, was having herself a pity party when Nudge wandered in.
"Monica didn't need to see that."
Phix thinks she's alienated Shelly at this point, and with her senses would have heard Monica's scream and Eyrale comforting her, even while she was neck deep in 'Splody Head's ribcage. She knows Monica is terrified of her now. From her perspective, two people who mean a lot to her now want nothing to do with her, so she was busy building up walls around her heart (Because she could not fill the chasm, sorry, couldn't stop myself) and Nudge is busy tearing them back down, accusing Phix of being everything she WANTS to be very badly right now. Nudge knows Phix isn't the emotionless killing machine she's accusing her of being.
Remember, Nudge saw Phix cry.
Phix is so mad because it hurts so much.
Yup.
I think Phix is very well aware that her actions (and inactions and silences) have led to a really major set of hurts and rifts... and yet, left to herself, she was likely to just sit back quietly in her "librarian" persona, and not take the initiative to address matters and reach out to those she has affected. She woguld just wait for others (Monica and Shelly) to come to her, as she has done over the last umpteen-thousand years of enforced Library duty. And, as y'all have pointed out, she'd be likely to encyst herself emotionally with "well, this is just how sphinxes are" justification and rationalization, and never take real responsibility for her own behavior.
She could lose Monica permanently that way. Possibly Shelly, too.
What Nudge is doing, by hurling all of these over-the-top accusations, is to force Phix
completely out of her usual "retreat into an academic shell" pattern. She's making the "retreat, wait, and manipulate" position look as nasty and loathsome as she can, and forcing Phix to
feel just how much she would stand to lose by retreating in that way. She's goading Phix into
doing something about the situation (even if that something is a very sincere attempt to rip Nudge into tiny shreds). I suspect her goal is to (1) survive, and then (2) push Phix in a direction of "doing something" which actually involves reaching out actively to Shelly and Monica.
It's really harsh medicine, painful for Phix and dangerous for Nudge... but if it's to be done at all, now is probably the right time. In the end, this may have been the only way to keep Phix from spending the next few centuries sulking in a corner and marinating in self-pity, and to get Phix to take active responsibility for mending the rifts and "building bridges" and doing whatever it takes to regain Monica and Shelly's trust.