Wapsi Held Hostage - Day 14 (was Castela Notice 2015-07-05)

[Sgt. Howard]

Buck and Kathy finished the song, the scene faded... and a new one came to view. A runway, flanked by raucus, tipsy middle-aged men, appeared in miniature- an unseen orchestra struck up some 'bump & grind' and a slender blond woman strutted out, performing a sleazy strip tease. There was some confusion as to why this was occuring, until somebody pointed out that this was a younger version of Jessie's mother... then the room filled with laughter. That faded out before it got too far along...

[themadkansan]

*PAINTS THE ENTIRE FORUM PLAID*

BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!1

[Baronessa]

I do hope everything is okay with our resident artist. I always worry when someone says they'll be back at a certain time, only to have that time passed with no update or information...

Also, is it common for people to write as though they are in story-format? I'm only used to that for established story lines on RPing websites.

[Hansontoons]

I do hope everything is okay with our resident artist. I always worry when someone says they'll be back at a certain time, only to have that time passed with no update or information...

Also, is it common for people to write as though they are in story-format? I'm only used to that for established story lines on RPing websites.

Dear heart, welcome.

Please refer to the first page of this, um, thing, around half way down the page. Sgt. Howard made a post and it took on a life of its own... and here we are!

The Author posts random updates on Facebook, all is not well in Iowa when it comes to interwebs providers. You can get all the corn, soybeans, and hogs you want. But a simple connection to the world? Fuggeadaboudit in this particular point in time, space, and reality.

[jwhouk]

Nah, just some of us. We're biding our time.

For those of you just tuning in: Back in July, Paul found a new house in his hometown on the NW side of the greater Des Moines area. (In case you were wondering, he moved to Iowa a few years ago, after being a MSP resident for most of the run of the comic.) At some point, he had his cable provider promise they could get him computer service to his new place. As is typical of The Cable Company, they lied. He is now trying to see which company is going to come to his new home first - and it sounds like both are dragging their heels. Meanwhile, he's holing up at a Starbucks to get some of the basic stuff out there, but he's mostly confined to Facebook.

[Hansontoons]

Gyrre laughed triumphantly as the device he'd been fiddling with's display finally stabilized. A three-dimensional display of light showed number of blue segmented spheres floating. Each sphere was connected to one other sphere by a green line, some spheres had additional greens lines along their surfaces. The whole thing resembled a haphazard string of pearls.

“Ladies and gents, behold the Dimensional Mapping Transponder and World Entity Zone Locator." Gyrre indicated the map display and muttered, “I really need a shorter name for this." Hansontoons let out a chuckle, but Gyrre wasn't sure if it was related.
Gyrre consulted his note book and then poked at the DMT&WZL. One of the blue spheres changed to a bright yellow. “This place breathes and eats all manner of crap that is absolutely toxic to most carbon-based life. According to my notes, merthal mercapsum is used as an expensive spice there. And I don't have to check my notes to know the local spice baron is a total dick."

Gyrre fished around in his satchel for yet another doodad. This one resembled a black digital stop watch with teal stone dongles and a a teal stone circle in the middle with around 19 glyphs carved on it and inlaid with silver.
Gyrre turned two of the knob dongles, then dialed an address using the stone circle. When he had finished entering the address, he twist a third knob dongle. The same teal and vantablack lines that had heralded Gyrre's own arrival appeared again and created another square spiral door.

Gyrre extended a hand, “I'll have to toss the container in since these things only work for people from my dimension for whatever reason."

After a chuckle and a smile, 'Toons bowed in appreciation to Gyrre.

[Hansontoons]

And and and and didja see what Paul posted on fizbok, er fissbuc, ah wtf, he posted that Wapsi returns NEXT MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sgt. Howard]

I do hope everything is okay with our resident artist. I always worry when someone says they'll be back at a certain time, only to have that time passed with no update or information...

Also, is it common for people to write as though they are in story-format? I'm only used to that for established story lines on RPing websites.

I am the guilty party regarding the style of writing that you are witness to- the truth is I am one of several story tellers that populate the forum, some of whom seem rather gifted in this respect. Why this particular webcomic tends to attract such people would be hard to qualify, but it does seem to be the case... anymore I rarely crack open my regular Email as this place seems far more interesting even in the absence of the fellow who created it. The 'toons themselves are fascinating, but the commentary that follows is any quality you seek... but be warned, there is far more punning goes on here than many states and counties allow. To play it safe, I limit myself to storytelling, music/song parody and on extremely rare occasion, a limerick... or two...
Bear in mind that in certain parts of central California, it's 'Use a PUN, go to JAIL!' with emphasis on the 'three strikes' rule. Be safe- wear a condominium. That might be a joke but I doubt it... my wife is making threatening noises so I will desist.
Wander through the various forums here at your leisure, we are friendly, silly and downright absurd most of the time. Be aware that all of this is not really RP stuff as much as here we let our imaginations run wild where they cannot hurt things... or each other... hopefully... although there was a near-miss with the artillery strike that yours truly was arraigning against the IPs that Paul was attempting to have dealings with... four batteries (sixteen guns) of the 155mm variety doing what is referred to as 'walking artillery' (total destruction). Others played with technologies not yet devised- this particular thread started as a 'Wapsiholic anonymous' situation and degraded from there.

Enjoy your wander-
the Old Sgt.

[Sgt. Howard]

And and and and didja see what Paul posted on fizbok, er fissbuc, ah wtf, he posted that Wapsi returns NEXT MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOT DIGGITY DINGBATS!!!

[Hansontoons]

With the revelation that the Wapsiverse would become whole again on Monday, the comatose, the listless, the morose, the anguished, the rest of the lugs just hanging around began to stir. Eyes blinked, greasy fingers ran through matted hair, hulked forms began to rise, and in a blink there was a thundering stampede for the door that made a Bum Rush seem like a stroll in the park.

The dash for the door raised a cloud of dust that blanketed the room and made it impossible to see past one's hand held out at arms length. Coughing through a Calamity Worldwide Badbandana held agains his face, Hansontoons staggered away from the maddening crowd, hoping not to fall or trip over Glytch's camp and risk being trampled.

"Is there anyone still here?" he cried out. "Gyrre, can any of your gizmos clear this morass???" he shouted as the darkness began to close upon him...

[Hansontoons]

And and and and didja see what Paul posted on fizbok, er fissbuc, ah wtf, he posted that Wapsi returns NEXT MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOT DIGGITY DINGBATS!!!

What he sed!

[Sgt. Howard]

Hanstoons noticed the shape of one body, still at the table... but the face wasn't right. The eyes were way too big, There was a round pattern where the mouth should be, the nose... and then he realized he was looking at a gas mask. A gas mask being worn by (who else?) the Old Sgt. himself.
"Well," Greg said (his voice sounded like he was talking through a kazoo) "Let's see who else remains here, shall we?"

[Warrl]

HOT DIGGITY DINGBATS!!!

Smile when you say that, pardner!

[oldmanmickey]

Stands down the launch sequence, locks away the keys. One of these days. Sits back patiently waiting for the arrival of Monday. Has a very horrible thought, Paul did mean this coming Monday right? Please please tell me right, lie if you have to.

[TazManiac]

I have breaking news!

Wapsi Square returns Monday, August 3rd!

Oh, wait...

damn, you guys are faster than I am...

[GlytchMeister]

The moment Glytch heard the news, he stood up with his steel pipe in one hand and his telescopic hiking pole in the other.
Just in time to deflect the stampede roaring toward him. He sucked in a huge breath before the dust cloud hit just as the first maddened wapsiholics were pushed into him.
He dropped into a Shotokan front stance, holding his steel pipe in the middle to gently push the herd away from his rather expensive tent and gear. The pole was used to poke and tap, very gently to avoid causing injury, and always below the chest.
With this technique, he successfully saved his stuff.
Ninety seconds later, the herd was no longer a threat. Running out of time before he needed to breathe again, Glytch dropped his pipe and pole and dug through his small red pack until he got a bandanna.
Two minutes. Glytch slowly let air out, stifling his breathing reflex long enough for him to run to the sink and soak the bandanna in the iron- and sulfur-tainted water.
135 seconds. Glytch's lungs were empty when he finally got the wet bandanna tied around his face. As soon as he cinched the knot tight, he sucked in a lungful of fairly clean air, and welcome oxygen flooded his arteries once again. Taking a moment to catch his breath, Glytch looked over at the portal. It had defaulted to "return to sender" mode, and the Wapsiholics were slowly filing through one or two at a time.
His camp was still intact, though dusty.
Hansontoons was busy hacking through his dry bandanna at Greg, who of course had a gas mask. "Well... Let's see who else remains here, shall we?" Greg's muffled voice said.
"I'm sticking around. I kinda like it here. Besides, Monday is still two days away. And I can read Wapsi here. This pocket dimension came with a public wifi network." Glytch walked to his camp and dug out an albuterol inhaler and stuffed it into his locked, just in case. "And don't forget, I'd really like to figure out how all this works. Who knows, I might make a fortune off of this kind of knowledge."

[Dave]

"Well, this is definitely good news," opines Dave, rising from behind the table which had sheltered him duing the maddened rush for the door. "Just the usual two-day weekend dry spell to get through, and we're all used to that by now... an occasional archive-dive should get us though.

"Let's see... is there any of that pineapple beef curry left? Seems to me that the mystery dark lady's gift wasn't noticed by most of the crowd... well, more for us!"

He finds an unused goblet, fills it with curry, adds a dash of a kiloScoville hot sauce he finds nearby (ignoring the dire "You may literally die!" warnings scrawled on the label), and retires to a corner to enjoy the bounty.

[AnotherFairportfan]

The Nordic Foursome is how I keep from having any song get stuck in my brain. Something ends up getting stuck, and all it takes is, "IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, I'LL BE FIRST IN LINE..."

I use either the Super Mario world 1-1 song, Ezio's Family from Assassin's Creed, the Skyrim title song, or the Fable theme song.
They all seem to work fairly well with me.
(can you tell I'm a gamer yet? )

"The Great Gates of Kiev" from Pictures at an Exhbition

[themadkansan]

The Nordic Foursome is how I keep from having any song get stuck in my brain. Something ends up getting stuck, and all it takes is, "IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, I'LL BE FIRST IN LINE..."

I use either the Super Mario world 1-1 song, Ezio's Family from Assassin's Creed, the Skyrim title song, or the Fable theme song.
They all seem to work fairly well with me.
(can you tell I'm a gamer yet? )

"The Great Gates of Kiev" from Pictures at an Exhbition

Earworm Crusher #1

Earworm Crusher #2

[illiad]

*PAINTS THE ENTIRE FORUM PLAID*

BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!1

you mean this????
Has a mod the 'power' to change the forum background ????

the are 3000 x 3000 ones , if you dare....
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=PLAID

Monday??? better have that in 'ironclad' fer sure, fer sure... please contact paul to put up a 'test page' to make sure!!

- and **take it easy** we dont want to crash the server, go over his bandwidth in the first few minutes!!!!


??? a Total quiet falls upon this thread, as ALL desert it for a NEW one!!!!

--- a certain ISP office worker crawls out of his bunker, thankful that those damned cable bashers have done their job, **hopefully**!!!