My long response behind cut. Highlight to read.My real name(and appearance) caused me torture growing up. When I was young, I resented being born, to the point of trying to erase myself. Now, I just see that people have the potential to be mean, and that some, no matter what I do, will never be nice. It alll started with an educator who gave me a bit of advice: If you don't Love yourself, nobody else can.zachariah wrote:That depends on how many problems the nickname causes when the kids grow up. My daughter thought her nickname was wonderful until fourth grade. Then all the other kids started teasing her about it pretty badly. To this day I am not allowed to use it because of the memories it brings back to her. So yes I do feel like a half-wit for putting her through that even though I helped her cope with it. Unintended consequences really need to be considered before you do things that may last a long time.
I have a different view than I did when I was young. I am not as confident as I'd like, but more than when I was young. I don't love my appearance unconditionally, but accept it is what it is. I give my son what he needs so he wants for nothing, and by that I mean the necessities to thrive, moral support and the basic things for life...not every gadget under the sun because it is shiny, or keep up with the Joneses. I teach him about our world and tell him what it was like when his parents, grandparents, great grandparents, and double great grandparents growing up(including the joys of immigration and naturalization, and the intolerance of people who were a bit different) so that he isn't running through life with rose hued spectacles. Nearly commiting suicide over the bullying changes your world view a teeny bit. If you don't love yourself, it is impossible for anyone else to.
I try to show my son a balance of it, and positive ways to take care of it(lead by example). He has Auburn instead of black, and shifting hazel instead of brown, so one would think he'd be free of it, but my sister had some of the same traits, and got picked on worse, so I just wait on the sidelines to help him practically.
Were my parents half-wits for having me or naming me what they did? No. For having me at all? Of course not. Were the kids just mean? Definitely. Were their parents encouraging of the behaviour? Possibly. Are there issues behind doors we cannot see? Probably. Has society changed at all in the last 40 years? Definitely. Enough? No. Too many variables to have a concrete solution that fits all known issues.
Tolerance of bullying is less acceptable these days, punished more severely than it did 40 years ago, yet it goes on with more alarming frequency for the most inane and mundane reasons. Media sensationalises it and glamourises it, and even condemns it, but it will never stop really until everyone works hard at raising the next generation to stop, and quite frankly, I cannot really foresee it happening, too many get a trip out of it.
It's even worse for a child, because he/she is made to feel unwanted after an event like this. My son has issues like that, but I work hard so he knows at least one parent will always give 10,000%...will always just be there...will acknowledge their everything. And I will never stop until I no longer breathe, and he feels love enough for both parents.
There were a lot of children at my son's old school that felt just like Atsali's friend, and it's heartbreaking to know that the parents drop them off at school and tell the teachers to make them not their kids, to "fix" something that they were born with, or not have any issues...yanno, perfect. I wanna adopt them all and give them all the love they could possibly need, when it's the parents that need the lessons(that they will never care about, because they believe they are entitled to the world licking their boots), and a swift kick in the grey matter the most.
Just my 2cp.
This comic just hit me personally in too many ways to recount, as although I had two parents that cared dearly for me, society treated me like I was unwanted. I've seen it with my son's classmates and friends who live with their parents and are unwanted. Paul is really good at bringing out real life issues and emotions in his story, which is why I visit often, and refresh my mind with his tales frequently. Change Atsali and her friend to Mortals, and the impact is the same...brilliantly shown here. My thanks(even though I went through a box of Kleenex).