Q & A: Compliments

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GlytchMeister
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Q & A: Compliments

Post by GlytchMeister » Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:22 am

Do you ever get tired of compliments on your appearance?

I imagine there is a certain level of context to this... Like, guys trying to, eh, "pickup" probably gets old fast, but in Facebook comments on your modeling photos I'd kind of expect either a blasé sort of attitude or maybe actual appreciation.

I dunno. I'm pretty plain, average, and generally invisible (and I like that, anonymity is awesome), so it's not exactly an issue I deal with or have any sort of foothold or starting point for understanding.

Oh, and forgive me if I was presumptuous in making a thread. I figured it'd be simpler this way.
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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by Yana Nimkova » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:08 pm

I'm glad you started a new thread! That's how I'm trying to do this, so please, feel free!! :)

As for comments...hmm. How to word this. I LOVE genuine compliments. I think if you weren't at least a little bit of an attention-craver, you don't get into modeling. What I like is when the comments show that the person actually looked at, and thought about, the picture. Comments on the pose, or the outfit, or specifics.

The 58th iteration of "Gorgeous!" or "Love it!"? Yeah. I've heard it before, and while I'd rather have that than NO feedback, I'd rather have some feedback that showed people took a few moments to think it through.

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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by jwhouk » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:46 pm

Yana Nimkova wrote:I'm glad you started a new thread! That's how I'm trying to do this, so please, feel free!! :)

As for comments...hmm. How to word this. I LOVE genuine compliments. I think if you weren't at least a little bit of an attention-craver, you don't get into modeling. What I like is when the comments show that the person actually looked at, and thought about, the picture. Comments on the pose, or the outfit, or specifics.

The 58th iteration of "Gorgeous!" or "Love it!"? Yeah. I've heard it before, and while I'd rather have that than NO feedback, I'd rather have some feedback that showed people took a few moments to think it through.
So more along how Dinky complemented the Asian photo shoot, then?
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by GlytchMeister » Wed Mar 30, 2016 10:13 pm

Artists like compliments. Artists LOVE a good solid critique. Yeah, that makes sense. Huh. I guess I do have a foothold. In my drawings and writings. How 'bout that?
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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by Yana Nimkova » Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:37 pm

jwhouk wrote:
Yana Nimkova wrote:I'm glad you started a new thread! That's how I'm trying to do this, so please, feel free!! :)

As for comments...hmm. How to word this. I LOVE genuine compliments. I think if you weren't at least a little bit of an attention-craver, you don't get into modeling. What I like is when the comments show that the person actually looked at, and thought about, the picture. Comments on the pose, or the outfit, or specifics.

The 58th iteration of "Gorgeous!" or "Love it!"? Yeah. I've heard it before, and while I'd rather have that than NO feedback, I'd rather have some feedback that showed people took a few moments to think it through.
So more along how Dinky complemented the Asian photo shoot, then?
Yes. Specifics give me something that I either know I did right or wrong. They help me refine my work and get better. They tell me what people like, and what they don't. The generic platitudes of "Awesome!" "Hot!" and that? I mean, don't get me wrong....it's still nice to be complimented. But constructive feedback > bland compliments. :)

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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by Yana Nimkova » Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:39 pm

GlytchMeister wrote:Artists like compliments. Artists LOVE a good solid critique. Yeah, that makes sense. Huh. I guess I do have a foothold. In my drawings and writings. How 'bout that?
Same basic idea. An Artist is trying to present a specific image, concept, or story, using their chosen medium. A model's doing the same thing, with her body, her hair, her makeup, and her outfit. :)

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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by GlytchMeister » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:07 am

You are your chosen medium.

Fascinating. I never really made the artistic connection to modeling before. Fashion, yeah. Photography too. Must not modeling itself.

Interesting.

...

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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by Catawampus » Thu Mar 31, 2016 7:05 pm

Yana Nimkova wrote:The 58th iteration of "Gorgeous!" or "Love it!"? Yeah. I've heard it before, and while I'd rather have that than NO feedback, I'd rather have some feedback that showed people took a few moments to think it through.
I wonder how much of that might be due to the person being a bit intimidated by you. They might be afraid of trying to be too specific because they don't know much about fashion and modelling and don't want to inadvertently say something silly, or they don't want to be too detailed because they're worried that you might take it as a bit stalkerish, or they just have the common problem of a guy trying to talk to a pretty gal and not knowing just what to say or thinking that he's not "good enough" to really say much.

Of course, they could also just be really lazy.

And I suppose that you might just possibly perhaps maybe on rare occasions come across a guy or two who may be harbouring ulterior motives and are just hopefully casting out a few lines. . .
Yana Nimkova wrote:Same basic idea. An Artist is trying to present a specific image, concept, or story, using their chosen medium. A model's doing the same thing, with her body, her hair, her makeup, and her outfit. :)
How much say do you yourself tend to have on such things as your outfits and poses and the like? I'm sure that the photographers have their own ideas, too, and that there are probably often other people involved, some. . .directors of some kind or another (my knowledge of the personnel involved in fashion shoots is about on par as is that of the average meerkat's).
GlytchMeister wrote:Fascinating. I never really made the artistic connection to modeling before.
I don't know of any human activity that can't have artistic elements to it. Cooking, driving, draughting the blueprints to a hydraulic ram, working a cash register. . .you can add artistic embellishments to all sorts of stuff. Whether or not you consider the "art" to be worthwhile, of course, is another matter. . .

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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by GlytchMeister » Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:07 pm

The model, as far as I know, has very little say on what the outfit is or whatever. Their influence comes in with the pose and the expression. It's very similar to acting.... Well... Good acting. Gotta get the nonverbal language juuuuust right to convey the message desired by whoever is paying for the model's services.
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He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by Yana Nimkova » Fri Apr 01, 2016 2:18 am

It really depends. I have had shoots where I've been asked to do my own hair and makeup, and I've done shoots where there's a paid MUA. I have had shoots where I wear the client's attire (like the wedding dress shoot), and there are times I'm asked to bring my own (this happens more for me than most models, given my particular height and build...many times I can't fit into their preferred attire). A good photographer will try to work with the model, and the two collaborate to come up with an awesome shot. A bad photographer treats you like a life-sized Barbie doll. I've run the range of all these. :)

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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by Julie » Thu Sep 08, 2016 10:57 am

How do you handle compliments outside of your modeling? I find it's tricky dealing with the kinds of compliments (or sometimes just commentary since I have a hard time calling all of the interactions complimentary) that strangers give in passing face to face. Obviously genuine compliments can be appreciated, but even those can be a bit exhausting and frustrating to me. For example (in the non-"I feel like I'm being hit on awkwardly" kind of category, which is it's own set of problems), less-endowed women often feel the need to "compliment" my breasts, which can be amusing, annoying, or just uncomfortable depending on the situation. An amusing one that happened recently was at a concert event where one of the women working a beer stand was kind of over-the-top with her, "Oh my god! I love those!" which might have been weird if her co-workers/friends hadn't rolled their eyes and said, "There she goes again with her boob fascination." But there have been times when the "compliment" feels really invasive and uncomfortable even when it's obviously not intended to also be a come-on.

I just thought I'd get your feedback on this since I'm kind of non-confrontational and very bad about trying to just pretend like the "bad" compliments and related situations didn't happen. Do you just smile, say thank you, and move on every time? Or do you actually respond in a way that lets the person know they crossed a line?
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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by TazManiac » Thu Sep 08, 2016 9:01 pm

Yeaaah, I hate that line.

"I'm not Evil, I'm just drawn that way..."

Had to just cut way back on my natural inclination to engage and/or compliment.

"But while _you_ sir may not have bad motives, odds are its a creepy thing when a stranger just starts talking to you..." .

Or, "Why are you complimenting me?, what do you want?". People are hard.

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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by Yana Nimkova » Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:48 pm

Julie wrote:How do you handle compliments outside of your modeling? I find it's tricky dealing with the kinds of compliments (or sometimes just commentary since I have a hard time calling all of the interactions complimentary) that strangers give in passing face to face. Obviously genuine compliments can be appreciated, but even those can be a bit exhausting and frustrating to me. For example (in the non-"I feel like I'm being hit on awkwardly" kind of category, which is it's own set of problems), less-endowed women often feel the need to "compliment" my breasts, which can be amusing, annoying, or just uncomfortable depending on the situation. An amusing one that happened recently was at a concert event where one of the women working a beer stand was kind of over-the-top with her, "Oh my god! I love those!" which might have been weird if her co-workers/friends hadn't rolled their eyes and said, "There she goes again with her boob fascination." But there have been times when the "compliment" feels really invasive and uncomfortable even when it's obviously not intended to also be a come-on.

I just thought I'd get your feedback on this since I'm kind of non-confrontational and very bad about trying to just pretend like the "bad" compliments and related situations didn't happen. Do you just smile, say thank you, and move on every time? Or do you actually respond in a way that lets the person know they crossed a line?
Really it depends on the surroundings. For example, I get a lot of this in my day job (waitress at a steakhouse). Guys get drunk, they make comments. But it's sort of part of the job. I fake the smile, either pretend I didn't hear it, or even pretend I /liked/ it, and then watch the extra dollars land in my tip. When I'm outside work...it depends a lot on my surroundings and company. I can be downright snarky if I'm with a group of people, or somewhere public. But I'm also constantly aware that I am A) female, B) tiny, and C) a Latina in a staggeringly racist state. I learn to self-moderate if I'm alone or not somewhere public, because...do not poke the bear. Or the redneck racist asshole. As for boob comments, at my size, I honestly just play it off for a joke. It lets people know that yeah, I heard you, yeah, I'm aware, but it acts as an icebreaker. If they keep pushing it, then it's either on to snark or ignore.

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Re: Q & A: Compliments

Post by Yana Nimkova » Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:50 pm

TazManiac wrote:Yeaaah, I hate that line.

"I'm not Evil, I'm just drawn that way..."

Had to just cut way back on my natural inclination to engage and/or compliment.

"But while _you_ sir may not have bad motives, odds are its a creepy thing when a stranger just starts talking to you..." .

Or, "Why are you complimenting me?, what do you want?". People are hard.
It depends, really. I can usually tell the difference between the surprised/shock factor "oh my god" reaction; it takes some time for most people's mouth/brain filter to kick in. And I don't usually mind /a/ compliment, even when it might otherwise be unwelcome. It's when they don't pick up on my signals that "yeah, that was enough" that it becomes a problem.

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