Wapsi Square Forum

My first venture into fanfiction had an extension of my own personality (Cornelius) seducing the guardian of the Library (Phix)- at the time I wrote it, I worked in surgery. Yesterday on shift, it dawned on me that I am now the guardian of the local Library... wonder what would have happened had I written about someone who seduced Mrs. Gotlieb (Jessie's Mother- she wealthy, you know)... oh well, the irony finally caught up with me...

Security guard at the estate of a spoiled-rich, insecure, and socially conscious "climber", whose dysfunctional family relationships and social interactions make "The Real Housewives Of New Jersey" feel like a breath of calm and sanity, and whose wealth turns out to be built on a tissue of bogus "investments" and Ponzi schemes which come crashing down around her ears shortly before your first paycheck is due.

She manages to flee to a small South American nation with different banking laws and no extradition treaty, leaving you to defend the estate against an endless stream of zombie-like creditors, with your sole weaponry being improvised firebombs fueled by the nitrocellulose filmstock from the cache of old decaying family home movies you found in the root cellar.

I think you're better off in your local library.

Congrats on the new gig, by the way! Almost certainly less stressful than being in surgery, and it's an honorable path. Books and learning are important... jewels of civilization.

I've heard a producer was trying to set up "Real Housewives of Alabama," but was thrown out of the trailer park. Seems they all had more sense than to put up with a snotty Hollywood type.

Atomic wrote:I've heard a producer was trying to set up "Real Housewives of Alabama," but was thrown out of the trailer park. Seems they all had more sense than to put up with a snotty Hollywood type.

Lucky they didn't shoot him.

I recall an episode of Top Gear where the boys nearly got stoned (as in, rocks, not pot) in Alabama.

GlytchMeister wrote:I recall an episode of Top Gear where the boys nearly got stoned (as in, rocks, not pot) in Alabama.

They got chased out of several towns in fear of their lives during their tenure on that show. Then the BBC sacked Clarkson and Amazon snapped them up before the BBC could tender an apology and a raise. Now Joey Tribbiani hosts it, and it's just one step shy of a F*R*I*E*N*D*S reunion.

Dave wrote:Security guard at the estate of a spoiled-rich, insecure, and socially conscious "climber", whose dysfunctional family relationships and social interactions make "The Real Housewives Of New Jersey" feel like a breath of calm and sanity, and whose wealth turns out to be built on a tissue of bogus "investments" and Ponzi schemes which come crashing down around her ears shortly before your first paycheck is due.

She manages to flee to a small South American nation with different banking laws and no extradition treaty, leaving you to defend the estate against an endless stream of zombie-like creditors, with your sole weaponry being improvised firebombs fueled by the nitrocellulose filmstock from the cache of old decaying family home movies you found in the root cellar.

I think you're better off in your local library.

Congrats on the new gig, by the way! Almost certainly less stressful than being in surgery, and it's an honorable path. Books and learning are important... jewels of civilization.

Doesn't pay for squat- but you're right... no calls at 2:57 in the AM for an emergency C-section, no dealing with grumpy MDs where I HAVE to be polite regardless, no life-or-death issues on a continuous basis... Annie says I am a LOT easier to live with. Anybody gives me trouble, I GET TO DEAL WITH THEM... heh... plus, books come in from donors all the time- library policy will not allow them to go on the shelf, so they are sold at $1 a pop at benefit sales. I get to pick and preen through what comes in. I have added MANY volumes to my personal library, some quite collectable!

Regarding the scenario you depicted- if my company gets no $$, I am pulled from the job and placed elsewhere. And zombie attacks are not part of our protocol or training, so that alone would void the contract. More likely- said family treats me like something they scraped off their shoes and still expect me to protect them... after my first week, a series of pranks start occurring where I always have plausible deniability... and they are so dim-witted and petty they start blaming each other...