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Coffee for Three

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 11:28 pm
by jwhouk
Monica had had a day.

First of all, there had been the trunk they'd purchased as part of the estate sale in Brooklyn Park. She and Jet thought perhaps there'd be keepsakes or something inside it. The lot had suggested clothes, in fact. What they hadn't anticipated was discovering a batch of moths and essentially rags inside. Jet had taken it upon herself to seek out the sales agent about this little issue.

Then there was the chair that she was sure she was about to sell to that surgeon from St. Louis Park. He loved the character of the old rocker, and how it was completely original. And then his bratty kid started jumping up and down on it - and broke it. The couple paid for the chair, but now it was nothing but kindling.

On top of that, it was raining here in the 612. Late October meant rain - and usually the cold, frustrating, pelt-your-face kind of rain.

She wasn't even sure her only hope for positivity for the day would make up for it, but she trudged ahead, across the street and over to the Mexican-themed coffee shop where she'd first been christened with the nickname...

"Sunshine!" Tina smiled as she entered the coffee shop. Her face summarily dropped as she inspected Monica - both her countenance and her aura, which matched. "Oh. It's been one of those days?"

Monica only nodded.

"I'll get something together," she said quickly. "Thankfully, it won't require the IV..."

Monica sighed as the aroma of coffee finally brought her around. Jet wasn't going to be back until this evening, and she needed this time to decompress.

The bell on the shop door rang, and she involuntarily turned to see two familiar people walk in. Two people she hadn't seen in a very long time.

"Oh, hey you two! How's it going?"

"Hey Monica - didn't know it was raining here in the Twin Cities too." The short, rotund man ran his hand through what little hair he had on his forehead, a few drops of rain on his jean jacket. "Didn't expect to see you here."

The woman with him - who was about a half-foot taller, not unlike her and Jet - waved and greeted Monica as well.

"Yeah, I just needed some of Tina's finest after the day I had," she let out with a frustrated sigh. "Being the antique dealer isn't all it's cracked up to be."

Just then Tina reappeared with Monica's drink, and greeted the couple.

"Oh, hey, Fearless One! And the Dancing Lady! The usual?" Tina's smile was infectious, even as she handed Monica her drink.

"Of course, Tina," the short gentleman said in reply. "We decided to stop in for some post-dinner coffee."

"And Starbuck's wasn't good enough for him," the woman said, tugging at the end of her black hoodie sweatshirt.

"Nor you," he retorted.

Monica just rolled her eyes.

"Oooh, wait a minute - there's something about today, isn't there?" Tina looked at the two of them with a skeptical eye. "I can tell, but not sure exactly what..."

At that, he raised his left hand, and motioned to his wife to do likewise.

"OH! It's your ANNIVERSARY! Well, then, drinks are on the house!" Tina smiled and went off to make their usual concoctions.

"Gee, that might be enough impetus for me to convince Jet to get hitched," Monica said in a somewhat mocking tone.

"Hey, don't knock it - 24 years of wedded bliss," he replied. "Although it wasn't always smooth, of course..."

"Well, then, if it's your anniversary - why are you here in Minneapolis, and not home doing the horizontal mambo, like Sarge always calls it?"

"I have to work tomorrow," the wife replied. "This was our compromise for a post-dinner treat."

"Hard to believe Tina's is considered a treat," Monica commented.

"Well, she still doesn't have Mucho Mochas on every corner," the short gent commented. "And... well - you do know about our plans, right?"

"I'd heard something about retirement, finally?"

He nodded. "Yes, but it also means we're going to be moving - and it's not going to be anywhere around here."

"We're planning on moving to Arizona by February," the woman added. "We've already asked Phix about a portal, though. Doofus here," at this she playfully tapped her husband, "didn't tell me the only portal down there was at that In 'N Out Burger on Signal Butte."

"I told you I found it on accident," was his explanation. "But yeah - retiring in January, and out of Wisconsin - for good - in February."

"I'm sure Phix can set you up with something," Monica said.

Tina returned with their drinks. "You two lovebirds up to anything more tonight?"

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" was his reply with a wink. This earned another nudge from his wife. "Nice to see you again, Monica," he said, turning to the diminutive Latina.

"Always." She smiled back at him, watching as the two walked hand-in-hand (holding their own coffee in the other) out the door and into the Minneapolis evening.

"Hmmm, Arizona," Tina commented after a brief silence. "A bit dry for me, but it definitely beats shoveling snow."

"When you have access to portals that can take you anywhere in the world," Monica mused with a sip of her coffee, "it kinda doesn't matter where you live, really."

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 1:06 am
by Sgt. Howard
Arizona is Class III

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 1:30 am
by jwhouk
Sgt. Howard wrote:Arizona is Class III
I'll keep that in mind. Might be useful to know considering the crime rate in a few of the Valley suburbs.

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 10:49 pm
by Sgt. Howard
jwhouk wrote:
Sgt. Howard wrote:Arizona is Class III
I'll keep that in mind. Might be useful to know considering the crime rate in a few of the Valley suburbs.
From a home defense or C&C standpoint, full-auto is really a poor choice- my big thought about it is that class III collectors have money and I am qualified to work on their guns...

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:11 am
by Atomic
Thoughts on 12 gauge or 410 shotgun with bird shot vs pellets for home defense? I've seen quite a few recommendations as the lighter shot would be less of a wall penetration risk. Consider your backstop and all that.

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:49 am
by Sgt. Howard
Atomic wrote:Thoughts on 12 gauge or 410 shotgun with bird shot vs pellets for home defense? I've seen quite a few recommendations as the lighter shot would be less of a wall penetration risk. Consider your backstop and all that.
The longest shot you are likely to take inside of a house (unless it is a mansion) is 25 feet- at that distance, 2.75 low-brass 12 gauge with number 8 or number 7.5 shot leaves a NASTY rat-hole wound that bleeds like a stuck pig and hits as hard as a baseball bat. It will NOT travel through two layers of 1/2" sheetrock and have lethal force on the other side. Use a pump- they are instinctive and the sound of one racking will cause many a felon to loose bowel control. I recommend the Remington 870 with a tactical 20" barrel-this is what the better provided police forces use. DO NOT USE 3" MAGS!!! They can kill on the other side of the wall... and when they DO completely hit the target, the splatter effect is... astounding... you will be weeks cleaning human remains from furniture and carpets and have to re-paint.

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 5:27 am
by jwhouk
I'm also planning on living in a community where there are other trailers next door, so that much firepower might be too much...

And I suspect y'all might fit in just fine down in Apache Junction, Sarge...

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:02 am
by Atomic
Excellent, Sgt! And who said learning skeet was useless....

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:57 am
by Dave
jwhouk wrote:I'm also planning on living in a community where there are other trailers next door, so that much firepower might be too much...
Maybe a mix of beanbag rounds, and rock-salt shells?

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:15 pm
by FreeFlier
Would not advise that . . . it's likely to result in severe legal problems.

--FreeFlier

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 3:29 pm
by jwhouk
And, there are just so many parks you can do that in where word starts to get around...

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:48 pm
by Sgt. Howard
Atomic wrote:Excellent, Sgt! And who said learning skeet was useless....
Skeet and 'housecleaning' are two separate skills- I suck at skeet, but I can certainly clean house...

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:50 pm
by Sgt. Howard
Dave wrote:
jwhouk wrote:I'm also planning on living in a community where there are other trailers next door, so that much firepower might be too much...
Maybe a mix of beanbag rounds, and rock-salt shells?
Those are black powder rounds- as such, they are a fire hazard. Modern Mobile homes have sheetrock, so the risks are minimal.

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 1:07 am
by ShneekeyTheLost
Honestly, a firearm is a pretty poor choice for home defense, when all is said and done.

Firearms are ranged weapons. In close-quarters combat, they require exponentially more training than most people ever get, or ever realize they NEED to get, in order to use it effectively. Ignore what you see in the movies, in an area with blind corners, a gun is a bigger danger to you than to your opponent.

However, of the firearms available, I'd say a shotgun is pretty much the best bet for home defense. As Howard said, you don't need hi-power or slugs, small shot with low brass is easily sufficient and reduces the risk of hitting a neighbor. I'd also agree with him about the Remington 870 pump-action being one of the best in the business for that sort of thing.

For home defense, I'd use a Louisville Slugger. It'll do the job on any home invader, one whack across the side of the head and they'll be lucky if all they get is concussed. Or, if you prefer to hand something still living over to the cops, bring it across their kneecap like you're knocking a slider out of the park. I guarantee they won't be standing up ever again. Best of all, you don't need any sort of license, and cops won't blink an eye at someone owning a baseball bat.

If you go with the Shotgun, then yes, working the action is a very distinctive sound that will freeze an invader in his tracks. Follow up with 'move and you're dead' for emphasis. Eight times out of ten, you call the cops, they come pick him up, no shots need to be fired. Of course, you'd best be prepared to pull that trigger if the two in ten happen. If you don't think you can pull that trigger, you got no business owning one.

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 1:38 am
by jwhouk
...does a Louisville TPS count?

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 10:07 pm
by FreeFlier
A baseball bat might work . . . if you're strong enough and healthy enough to use it, have enough room to swing it (good luck in a hallway), and the attacker doesn't have a gun.


As far as the sound, when I was in college there was a case where the homeowner racked a shotgun behind the burglar . . . and the burglar collapsed!

It turned out the burglar had had a heart attack!

--FreeFlier

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 11:13 pm
by Atomic
jwhouk wrote:...does a Louisville TPS count?
Only if you have the mandatory TPS cover sheet in place. Protocol and all that, don't ya know!

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 11:38 pm
by jwhouk
Atomic wrote:
jwhouk wrote:...does a Louisville TPS count?
Only if you have the mandatory TPS cover sheet in place. Protocol and all that, don't ya know!
You have no idea what a Louisville TPS is, do you?

I wouldn't need a cover sheet. Blade tape, maybe, but not a cover sheet.

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 1:08 am
by FreeFlier
jwhouk wrote:
Atomic wrote:
jwhouk wrote:...does a Louisville TPS count?
Only if you have the mandatory TPS cover sheet in place. Protocol and all that, don't ya know!
You have no idea what a Louisville TPS is, do you? . . .
The glove, the bat or the hockey stick?

--FreeFlier

Re: Coffee for Three

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 2:19 am
by jwhouk
I said blade (aka HOCKEY) tape...