Doing it right...

[jwhouk]

---
Johnson was a bit ragged on the edge, having the company bigwigs suddenly appearing at his little shop. Most of the time, the home office left them alone - save, of course, the occasional outlandish request.

Like, say, this one. His father, Rock, had been enamored with British Culture. Think it had something to do with meeting Sir Sean when he was a kid. Transferred it to his son, sadly. When the latest of the new Bond films was announced for this winter, he absolutely had to have his toy "adjusted" to incorporate the toys and gadgets that the "Q" branch would be able to provide.

He rolled his eyes at that. Switch had started calling their Research and Development division the "Q Branch" long ago. There'd been some push-back at times, but the informal name had stuck. Fortunately, the oldest son had stopped calling it that, but every so often, when Eon Productions decided it was time to put out a new film...

The entrance door to the shop opened. All work stopped - most of the gents were simply acting busy, as it was Friday, after all - and everyone rose to attention. Johnson got up from his seat and went over to the couple.

"Ah, Lady Alexander, you're looking especially lovely today! I trust the travel over here went well?" He smiled broadly at the woman who signed his paychecks.

"As always, Thomas. Now, my son said that his car was ready to be picked up?" The lady was carting a small valise behind her, while the gentleman next to her...

Johnson did a double-take. No, that can't be...

"Uhm, yes, it's right over at the garage entry," he said, motioning over. Turning to her escort, he apologized: "I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met?"

"Allan Richer," he said in a low tone. "Just here to escort the lady here in the UK." Johnson nodded.

Odd, Johnson thought. He doesn't look like the typical bodyguards the missus has when she's over here. Most of them look like something from a cow pasture...

The door to the garage area was opened, and a pair of gentlemen in lab coats were standing stiff, smiling to themselves as they saw the trio enter. The bay was completely empty, except for the two lab techs.

"Lady Alexander, these are our two finest researchers, Geoffrey Graham and Desmond Cleese. They worked incredibly hard on the 'upgrades' that Master Buck wanted for his..."

"Wait - where the hell is the car?" Daisy tilted her head in a bit of a shock. Al suspected something was up, but didn't say anything.

"Oh, oh yes, we didn't turn it off, did we?" Desmond said, reaching for a key fob in his coat pocket. "Well, your young Master Buck has always been a fan of the Service, so when he procured an Aston Martin, he of course wanted a full Bond Upgrade." He tapped a few buttons on the fob.

A slight crackling sound emerged, and the outline of a car came into view - which coalesced into the form of a very well appointed Aston Martin Vanquish.

"Behold, a 2014 Vanquish," Graham said, opening the car door on the left side. "And, Lady Daisy, it has already been converted to left-hand drive for you Yanks."

Al couldn't help but smile. "And she's already street legal in the states?" Cleese nodded vigorously.

"Oh, and your luggage will fit perfectly in the boot," Johnson said, offering to take the Lady's bags.

"There's not much more room in there for larger things, I'm afraid," Graham said as he clicked on a single button on a second fob. "But definitely enough for your valise - and your garment bag, sir?" Al nodded and handed it over, the bag laying perfectly over the valise as he shut the lid.

"Now, there are a lot of additions that Mr. Alexander had requested," Cleese stated. "We... thought he'd be here for an entire orientation, not just a 'pick up and run' situation."

"Buck informed me that he is fully aware of the modifications he requested," Daisy said with a wave of her hand. "We are on a schedule, young man." Cleese and Graham looked at each other as she opened the passenger door of the car and buckled herself in.

"Uhm, I assume that you're her driver?" Cleese said quietly to Al - who nodded silently. He handed the key fob over to him, as did Graham the other one - which he pocketed.

"Just so you know - the cloaking device is still a bit wonky, so I'd suggest not using it," Graham said, sotto voce.

"And make sure you put the key in with the notch pointing up, if you intend to only drive the car," Cleese said, pointing to the small notch on the key. "The other way will have some... less than pleasant results."

"I'm familiar with the concept," Al said with a chuckle. "Is this where you hand me the 500-page operational manual for the vehicle?" Cleese gave him a sour look.

"It's all in a USB stick located in the center glove box," he said, somewhat annoyed.

Al went over and opened the driver's door - somewhat surprised that a car in the UK had left-drive, but understandable. He made sure the notch was pointed up, and turned the motor over. The roar and hum of the V12 filled his senses, bringing back a pleasant memory.

"Have you driven an Aston Martin before, sir?" Graham asked over the din.

"I once owned a DB5, yes." Al went through a check of the mirrors and adjusted his seat, turning briefly to smile at his Lady beside him.

"Do you still drive it?" Cleese asked.

"Sadly, no. It was blown up by the agents of SPECTRE."

Closing the door, he waved at the pair - even as the door to the garage rose and he eased the car out onto the street.

[jwhouk]

---

"Hello, Mister Bond," came the greeting on the center console - in the voice of Dame Judi Wench. "As I'm sure the Q-Branch has already told you, this edition of the Vanquish has had some upgrades. Until you're ready to explore those options, I'd strongly suggest you keep the car in 'driving' mode - which it is currently in by default."

"Try not to destroy this one, Double-oh-seven," the voice of Q - or is it John Cleese? - informed the pair as Al pulled the Aston Martin onto the motorway.

Daisy couldn't help but laugh; "My husband was a huge Bond fan. I see my son has the same taste."

[Just Old Al]

Al would have preferred a traditional black cab (even though so few cabs were black anymore) but they’d gone the way of the dinosaur.

All of the cabs I saw when I was in London a couple years ago were black. Is this "traditional" black cab you speak of something different than the black cabs I saw everywhere?

They've taken to wrapping them in advertisements. I saw more purple and screaming green and yellow and every other colour of cab but black the last time I was there.

Horrid things. I hate being carted around in something that looks like an Easter egg.

Yes, there are still many that are plain old black - but that's not the way Al sees it. He still remembers the black, staunch old Austin Diesel black cabs and is really contrasting them in his mind's eye.

[jwhouk]

---

Traffic on the M3 was remarkably light for the late afternoon hour. The A303 was busy, but not annoyingly so. Al had managed to get the GPS activated; though he'd been to Stonehenge a few times as a schoolboy, the routing had likely changed since then.

Daisy was enjoying the English countryside, even as they blew by it at 100 kph. She did find it a bit unsettling that the oncoming traffic was on her right, but since most of the drive had been on divided highway, it wasn't quite as disorienting.

"Difficult enough driving left-hand in this setup," Al mentioned as drove through the Countess roundabout. "Stonehenge shouldn't be too far."

"Good thing," Daisy remarked. "It's starting to get dark."

"That should be it up ahead," Al motioned - and immediately noticed the NEW ROAD LAYOUT AHEAD sign.

"What in blazes..." The old road to the Stonehenge site had been blocked off. The 303 continued on to the west - and Daisy was wide-eyed as she saw Stonehenge pass by on the right.

"Isn't that our stop?" she asked.

"The GPS map says we still have a ways to go..." He looked down at the console.

"We're supposed to turn up ahead," he noted - just as a roundabout sign appeared ahead.

"Stonehenge... they must have changed the entryway." He shrugged, and got in the northbound lane to the 360.

Then, the GPS map blipped out.

"Hello, Mister Bond," came a deep female voice - that immediately started laughing. "Aw, I couldn't keep that up if I wanted. Hey, kids, it's Nudge. When ya get up by the visitor's center, head on straight instead of turning at the parking lot. We'll be waiting."

---

The pair were met by a couple of MIB agents, who immediately opened the gate across the access road to Stonehenge. A short female figure waved hello at them once they were across.

"Yeah, I can show you the way to get to the door," Nudge said, motioning to Daisy to let her in to the back seat.

With Nudge in the back, they continued down the access road. "They apparently blocked all traffic off to direct access to the site a few years ago," she stated. "There, just before the parking lot turn in. Slow down, you'll need to turn right onto that dirt road."

Al guided the car onto the dirt road. About 100 meters to the south, he saw a tent had been erected on the left side, in a clearing. A temporary sign outside proclaimed, "LONG BARROW ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE - NO TRESPASSING".

"There, turn in to the tent - slowly," Nudge pointed.

The car pulled into darkness, then suddenly emerged - into bright sunlight.

After his eyes adjusted to the light, Al noticed they were back in Minnesota - and pulling into the circle outside the Alexander estate.

"See? Easy peasy," Nudge said with a smile.

[jwhouk]

---
Buck waved at the pair as Al pulled around the turn circle outside the estate. Al pulled the Vanquish to a stop at the front door. Buck, ever the courtly gentleman, opened the passenger door for his dam.

"Did you enjoy your morning in London, mom?" he asked.

"Oh, it was splendid!" She emerged from the vehicle, gushing. "Oh, it's much colder than it was over there, though."

Buck leaned into the car. "I believe the latch for the boot is on the key fob," he said. "It should be marked." Al pulled the spare out of his pocket, and found the trunk button. Instantly, the lid rose.

Buck wandered around to the back, pulling out his mother's valise, and handing it to Edward. "I'll take him into the shop, take care of mother," he said before shutting the lid and heading back to the passenger seat.

Al watched as Edward and Daisy went into the house, and Buck climbed in.

"Now - pull this thing into the bay and we can go over the gadgets..."

[Julie]

Desmond Cleese? This part of the story is my favorite!!

[jwhouk]

---
Buck was like a kid in a candy store as he scrolled through the pages of the manual on the Aston's center console.

"Dad was always a big Bond fan, and he even took advantage of shipping space between the UK and the US to make sure he'd have some new tweak added to his car collection," he explained to Allan. "This thing isn't as much of a tank as your ambulance, from what I understand - but it's still rather formidable."

"I'd say - those machine gun turrets aren't live, are they?" He scrolled through to the page describing their operations.

"I would hope not," Buck replied. He looked closely at the screen. "Hm. The ammo loading door is just above the..." He reached forward, and pressed a button on the top of the dash. The panel opened. "...Right here. And it appears empty."

"Need to read up on that," Al commented.

"I'd say you should, since it's all yours," Buck said offhandedly.

"What?"

"Merry Christmas," Buck said, handing him the other key fob. "I know you lost a lot when that idiot blew up your shop. I figured this would be a way for me to make it up to you." He chuckled a bit. "And, a way to get on the good side of my future stepfather."

Al was stunned. "I... I don't know what to say..."

"How about, 'thanks'?" Buck offered.

"Thank you," he replied finally. "Thank you so very much."

Al accepted the hug from his dam's oldest across the center console - when a blipping noise came from the screen.

"All right, you two," the visage of Phix appeared on the console. "You're needed inside. Neil wants to go over the latest intel on our golem friend."

[jwhouk]

I knew our Miss Julie would pick up on the names right away.

Oh, and there is a reason why they call her Lady Alexander: when her husband purchased the land around the R&D complex, he ended up with a minor Lordship in the process. She holds it in his stead, but doesn't use it much, if at all.

[Julie]

I knew our Miss Julie would pick up on the names right away.

I should hope so...or I would have to turn in my fan card. I keep thinking it would be amusing to share the commercial video as proof, but I never have time or energy to get it loaded somewhere other than Facebook...and I wouldn't know where to post it anyhow.

[Just Old Al]

Damn.....Al has NO idea what to say here...

Future stepfather?

[Sgt. Howard]

Damn.....Al has NO idea what to say here...

Future stepfather?

... you DIDN'T see that coming...?

[Julie]

Damn.....Al has NO idea what to say here...

Future stepfather?

... you DIDN'T see that coming...?

He really should have...what with the heavy usage of the term "mate" in reference to one or the other of them. It's got a much stronger connotation than other descriptive terms for a significant other.

[GlytchMeister]

Damn.....Al has NO idea what to say here...

Future stepfather?

... you DIDN'T see that coming...?

He really should have...what with the heavy usage of the term "mate" in reference to one or the other of them. It's got a much stronger connotation than other descriptive terms for a significant other.

Not for a Brit, mate.

[Dave]

He really should have...what with the heavy usage of the term "mate" in reference to one or the other of them. It's got a much stronger connotation than other descriptive terms for a significant other.

"Bonded"?

(grins, ducks, runs like hell...)

[GlytchMeister]

Dave... I'm both irritated at you for that pun but also in the same boat as you... Because I'm waiting to unleash one helluva brick-joke pun related to this fanfic... You're gonna be proud of me.
To the other authors: don't spoil it. I wanna see of I can make Dave groan and make fairportfan hiss.

[GlytchMeister]

{credit to Dinkyinky, she wrote most of this... I just did a bit of dialogue tweaking}


"It has been a while since last I heard that term.
At least your teachers remember us. Good. You work to control it too. Also good.
Remember your kind were used as weapons, I do not say bred, for some disagree on that point.
If you do not control it with your own will, control it others will, and pervert it for their own purpose." The dark elf narrowed her eyes and John felt a chill go down his spine.

"I assure you, I don't intend on being a weapon to be wielded by another. Is there a reason you're here? You've been watching me off and on since I arrived." John relaxed a little, letting his eyes dim to embers... Safyr would have already attacked if she meant any harm.

"That you are here means you are wanted for...something. Ask those who know, and decide if you are better off elsewhere...or before you owe someone else a boon. There are those worse than the Lord of the Hells to be beholden to." Safyr's eyes drilled into John's, and neither of them blinked for a long moment.

"Such as...?" John raised an eyebrow.

The shadowy elf tilted her head. "Myself, for one. Or those my sister follows."

John puzzled over that for a moment. "First off, I'm doing these people a favor... If anybody owes anyone anything, it's them owing me." John felt the familiar scratching of doubt in the back of his mind... Ignoring it, he pressed on. "And besides, why would I..."

Safyr cut him off. "She is not the kind for you. You sense her 'gifts', and draw near...like to like.
Only it is not alike. You were born with it. She searched for it.
Her penance is carrying it until her last breath."

"Not my type, I think. Besides, I think she's latched onto the kid. If I'd ask anything of her, it'd be how to better control this... If she had any tricks of the trade." John's instinct buzzed and he began to shift into stance, but he was too slow.

Drawing the sword bound to her back in a fluid motion, Safyr held the tip of it to John's throat. All the dark energies around him drained, and thick, choking shadows carressed them, leaving behind the absolute cold, and the dark.
John fell to his hands and knees, suddenly panting, gasping, and shivering. He hadn't been drained for a long time... It was never a pleasant experience.

"I wasn't talking to you, human. I was talking to 'it'.

Il. Zhah. Naut. Whol. Dos."
She. Is. Not. For. You."

Sheathing her sword and looking down at John dispassionately, she continued.

"Forgive me. Until you are fully in control, I thought it prudent to show 'it' that I promise no threat I cannot keep. Their very nature is the fire itself, the chaos, whirling, burning red-white hot, blinding until the host burns away and it is reborn. Conversion of one power to another is one way they continue. I will not let 'it' near her.
I do not find fault with you...John, was it?
But the part of you that has already burned away so much of who you are, that I do take great issue with. I will spare no quarter should 'it' burn you away. You must take your humanity back, and soon."

"Who said I ever lost it?" John coughed and got up on one knee. "I'm not the exact same guy that left that apartment... But I'm still me." He looked up to where he thought Safyr was... Only to find empty air. "Fine... Point taken. Stay away from elves."

From the shadows her voice replied, "No, not all elves, just her. I would not begrudge you the lesson, but I could better offer you lessons that would teach you control in this realm, she would try to teach you, but the desire 'it' has is great, and without 'it' hungering for her powers, you learn more. If skills and knowledge you seek, lessons I offer, and rare it is, yet offer it still I shall. Ask Phix and her mate if you doubt. Ask even if you do not. Friend Glytch can find me if you have need of me. Again, I am sorry for the draining. It was...necessary, but know I did not take pleasure in it."

He managed to stand and hobbled to the manor... Every step took him closer to more dark energy, and his shaking had finally stopped by the time he got to the teapot.

[Julie]

He really should have...what with the heavy usage of the term "mate" in reference to one or the other of them. It's got a much stronger connotation than other descriptive terms for a significant other.

Not for a Brit, mate.

Even for a British when used the way he has been...and you know it. Don't get smart with me you whipper snapper!

[Just Old Al]

Damn.....Al has NO idea what to say here...

Future stepfather?

... you DIDN'T see that coming...?

Yes, but only in his own mind...not that obviously. He is not letting her get away, but now is not the time to be discussing such things. Never propose in a crisis.

[GlytchMeister]

Damn.....Al has NO idea what to say here...

Future stepfather?

... you DIDN'T see that coming...?

Yes, but only in his own mind...not that obviously. He is not letting her get away, but now is not the time to be discussing such things. Never propose in a crisis.

*cough*
*taps nose*

[GlytchMeister]

"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."

Al, your character has got to say that at some point.