Doing it right...

[jwhouk]

And, of course, c.) the news media has the attention span of a gnat.

Which means that the battle with the evil golem will not be televised.

[Just Old Al]

Thanksgiving morning started at 4:AM for the mistress of the house, her strong right arm Rosalita and a clutch of overwhelmed maids pressed into service as kitchen staff. Along with them was a selection of the residents of Club Alexander, as the manor had become known.

The planning for this operation had begun with a screeching start after Joe Houk innocently mentioned that Thanksgiving was next week. Since then the keen, insightful mind that once guided Alexander Harvesters through good and bad times had focused itself on producing a feast to end all feasts.

This year would be interesting - far more than years before. While the Alexanders were not at all above having large Thanksgiving dinners, the sheer diversity of the crowd coming to this one made the logistical issues far more of a problem. Safyr and Emerauld had been invited to the meal, which meant nothing artificial could be used in dishes that were intended for them or general consumption.

The guest list included carnivores, omnivores, sanguinarians, vegetarians and folks that could probably eat reactor waste in a pinch. That she was not prepared to provide, but the sheer diversity of diets made things a nightmare.

One example was Suzy and Lily - where does one source fresh blood - and how does one serve it at table without difficulty with the other guests. So many issues, and so little time to work them out!

The first logistical nightmare was the sheer amount of provender and variety of it needed. To suit all the varied diets was going to be an issue, and the local Whole Foods market and artisanal suppliers were going to be getting a very large part of the booty from these shopping expeditions.

Not all of it was coming from the stores, though. The gardens - found covered with a shelter, snow-free and in perfect condition even though forgotten - were providing the winter vegetables in the main. Things that did not grow well locally were of course being bought in - all organic to prevent issues with the elves’ sensitivity.

After an offer from Emerauld to hunt whatever turkeys were needed (turned down as the turkeys on the Alexander property were considered pets though she was told to help herself to anything else) these too were sourced from a local organic meat market. Hams were in as well, as were vegetarian substitutes for both for those who preferred it or required it for dietary purposes.

Of vegetables there was no end of variety. Potatoes both regular and sweet, squash baked and honeyed, pumpkin, candied carrots, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, corn, peas and anything else anyone might have requested.

And, of course, the desserts…

Apple pie of multiple varieties, pecan pie, pumpkin, squash, mince (proper mince, homemade), peach, strawberry...and the list went on. With the sheer number of people there were some interesting additions to the dessert were being made, like pear crumble made with the heat from the turned-off ovens and ready by dessert times.

The elves had been in on the provender as well. For the stuffing Emerauld and Safyr had provided a huge quantity of chestnuts, dried and fresh spices and for the liquor sideboard a flask of elderberry wine, with a warning that this was not to be consumed in large quantities by mortals of any stripe.

The actual cooking had begun days before, The fresh turkeys had been fetched and immediately plunked in brine baths, and the pies were all prepared and allowed to sit in the cooler for best flavour.

At that very early start time, after a light breakfast the machinery of the kitchen swung into efficient motion under its commanding matron. Turkeys were stuffed and placed in the oven to roast, hams joined them, and the preparation of bread and rolls was begun under Rosalita’s watchful eye.

Al, wandering into the kitchen for coffee at exactly the wrong time, was pointed at a huge pile of root vegetables and given his marching orders. He was soon joined by Greg, as Miss Annie had already volunteered him as a kitchen navvy as she had volunteered to help with the breads.

Neil, showing the foresight of a good general avoided the kitchen and helped himself from the cold breakfast on the dining room sideboard.

Others were either chased out as soon as they dared to appear in the kitchen, or more unluckily put to work at whatever task required a willing or unwilling pair of hands. Soon word spread that entering the kitchen was a poor idea if one was merely looking to mooch a snack, and the awakening folk concentrated on the cold breakfast sideboard for their needs.

As the wintry light dawned outside the window the initial tasks were done, and the smell of baking meats, rising bread and simmering soups and gravies filled the house.

[DinkyInky]

Right, because I'm sure Glytch would have told them about the hot chocolate. Now if the green bean casserole had Althaea blossoms in it, she'd give Glytch a funny look, then pile some onto her dish.

[Sgt. Howard]

I DESPISE pealing potatoes...

[DinkyInky]

I DESPISE pealing potatoes...

So peel and mash the bananas for the pudding and bread...and look out for those dancers the Swedish chef lost.

[Just Old Al]

I DESPISE pealing potatoes...

Don't blame me...your SO thought of that one....

[Dave]

I DESPISE pealing potatoes...

Entirely understandable. Potatoes are tubers and they have no business at all being up in a bell tower.

[Sgt. Howard]

I DESPISE pealing potatoes...

Entirely understandable. Potatoes are tubers and they have no business at all being up in a bell tower.

In Okanogan county, SOME puns are considered grounds for justifiable homicide... THAT one comes remarkably close...

[Warrl]

I DESPISE pealing potatoes...

Yes, the potatoes should stay quite and keep an eye on things...

(depositing a potato peeler and a bell-clapper in the pun vault)

[Just Old Al]

In Okanogan county, SOME puns are considered grounds for justifiable homicide... THAT one comes remarkably close...

Or, he was punned at by a farmer..."Judge, he just needed tillin'..."

Deposits tomes by Jethro Tull and Luther Burbank in the pun jar...

[jwhouk]

I have a side story plot that I'm kinda working on, but it needs some background.

It involves Glyph Language.

[GlytchMeister]

John, caught trying to get to the teapot, was immediately given the task of baking potatoes... literally by hand. On his left was a pile of raw potatoes and several tolls of aluminum foil. On his right lay a growing pile of baked and wrapped potatoes - John's hands heated and baked the potatoes in the time it took him to completely wrap them in foil. Occasionally he was pulled away to bring a large pot to a ln instant boil, or to quickly preheat an oven.
He eventually got his breakfast tea... After he heated the water himself.

Glytch was in a predicament. His room was right next to the kitchen. To go near was to be pressed into service, but to stay in his room probably meant another visit from Sarge and Al. He looked out the window and grinned before typing a quick message into his phone.
A short while later, the sound of large wings announced the arrival of his method of escape at his window.

[Julie]

Aberrations like green bean casserole with marshmallows they could simply be warned away from, and would probably be better off for.

Wait...there are people who make green bean casseroles with marshmallows?? *looks a little ill* That's just....wrong...on every possible level... I mean, I've heard of marshmallows being a part of sweet potato casserole, but not green bean casserole.

The actual cooking had begun days before, The fresh turkeys had been fetched and immediately plunked in brine baths, and the pies were all prepared and allowed to sit in the cooler for best flavour.

Then they're obviously not having apple pie as I know it (even if they're supposedly having apple pies per the pie list in this post), since that's best served warm. Couple that with the weird green bean mess, and I might have to (reluctantly) admit I'd skip this Thanksgiving meal...in spite of the company. No one messes with my green bean casserole and apple pie!

[Just Old Al]

hat's just....wrong...on every possible level... I mean, I've heard of marshmallows being a part of sweet potato casserole, but not green bean casserole.

Then they're obviously not having apple pie as I know it (even if they're supposedly having apple pies per the pie list in this post), since that's best served warm. Couple that with the weird green bean mess, and I might have to (reluctantly) admit I'd skip this Thanksgiving meal...in spite of the company. No one messes with my green bean casserole and apple pie!

Pie is best rewarmed...let it settle then warm it back up to serve. Try it sometime. The apples compact, the structure gets denser and it's really good. The crust suffers a bit, but the apples do really well out of it.

And as for the green bean casserole...I've seen it, sad to say. A neat border of them to hold in the fried onion rings.

{shudder}. Thankfully, I managed to avoid the dish completely.

If you need something fresh out of the oven there will be Winter pear crumble - think all the best bits of French apple pie over pears poached in simple syrup flavored with vanilla and fine brandy.

[Dave]

No one messes with my green bean casserole and apple pie!

Good for ya! I thought everybody knows that miniature marshmallows go in the orange-jello salad, and not in the green bean hot-dish.

At least there has been (blessedly) no mention of lutefisk being on the menu.

[Just Old Al]

At least there has been (blessedly) no mention of lutefisk being on the menu.

Lutefisk is not food. Lutefisk is paint remover. I made that mistake exactly once...now I know better.

[DinkyInky]

hat's just....wrong...on every possible level... I mean, I've heard of marshmallows being a part of sweet potato casserole, but not green bean casserole.

Then they're obviously not having apple pie as I know it (even if they're supposedly having apple pies per the pie list in this post), since that's best served warm. Couple that with the weird green bean mess, and I might have to (reluctantly) admit I'd skip this Thanksgiving meal...in spite of the company. No one messes with my green bean casserole and apple pie!

Pie is best rewarmed...let it settle then warm it back up to serve. Try it sometime. The apples compact, the structure gets denser and it's really good. The crust suffers a bit, but the apples do really well out of it.

And as for the green bean casserole...I've seen it, sad to say. A neat border of them to hold in the fried onion rings.

{shudder}. Thankfully, I managed to avoid the dish completely.

If you need something fresh out of the oven there will be Winter pear crumble - think all the best bits of French apple pie over pears poached in simple syrup flavored with vanilla and fine brandy.

You're welcome.

[Just Old Al]

Yup, i forgot to mention that....too busy fending off the foodies.

That recipe is DInky's - eternal shame to me for not mentioning it when I laid it out. She also very much contributed to the lists of foods - I have remarkably little imagination on these things as my family will attest. They still keep coming back every year, though.

Again, my apologies - I blew it.

Further edit - i took out the things people were having issues with.

[DinkyInky]

Aaaand now, for something completely different...

Avoiding the kitchen seemed like a good idea, so Glytch quickly headed to the clearing, but stopped as he heard singing.

"Usstan xuat kyon, vel'bol they're aluin ulu telanth..."
"I don't care, what they're going to saaaay..."

Glytch stopped dead in his tracks, palm to face. "So that's why Castela was singing it that way."

"Nau. Dos xal NAUT sundu nindel linath.""No. You may NOT sing that song."

"Awwww... Jhal Safy', Castela SSINSSRIGIN ol. Usstan inbal nym'uerus ilta sundu ol ril draeval il uriu visited. Usstan tlun tangis'morfelith ilta lu'ilta dalninil l'dresses whol nind Yule c'brisa! Glytch aslu uns'aa 'photographs' d'mina jal."
"Awwww... But Safy', Castela LOVES it. I have heard her sing it every time she has visited. I am even making her and her sister the dresses for their Yule celebration! Glytch got me 'photographs' of them all."

"Christ-maass. Apparently udos ph''heathens' ulu l'yazhadar tresk'ri.""Christ-maass. Apparently we are 'heathens' to the religious world."

"Usstan zhaun, jhal lu'oh mzil d'mina inbal ou'tix spoken ulu nind Yah?"
"I know, but how many of them have actually spoken to their God?"

"Usstan kyorl naubol d'relevance xuil nindel. Vrine'winith sunduin ol.""I see nothing of relevance with that. Stop singing it."

"Ula. Usstan iglata naut ulu sundu, 'Ori'gato ol go'."
"Fine. I promise not to sing, 'Let it go'."

*hums "Do you want to build a snowman" , grinning while sewing*

"Bwael, lu'rena udos ph'discussing ol, nindolen ph'l' 213 klezn dos orn naut xun ka udos alu ulu nind belbaun d'g'rftte gotareshtsh."
"Good, and while we are discussing it, these are the 213 things you will not do if we go to their giving of thanks feast." she said, handing her the list after adding "that song" to it.

"Um, did she just quote 'Skippy's list' in Elvish?" he thought, trying very hard not to laugh.

After reading it, she replies, "Safy' dos ph'nau jivvin a jal.""Safy' you are no fun at all."

"Guess I should be glad J'bober isn't on sentry duty," he thought, finally moving again, and announcing his presence.

((Author's note: Glytch cannot help but pick up some Drow and other Elvish, as I'm sure Safyr used very inventive expletives every time he unsummoned the bonehead, and Emerauld will teach basics in field medicine-herbology, or common phrases, in exchange for more up to date English. And just assume the adorable little stinkweed grand-mastered cute, so Emerauld teaches her...and she learns very very fast.))

[Hansontoons]

I DESPISE pealing potatoes...

Yes, the potatoes should stay quite and keep an eye on things...

(depositing a potato peeler and a bell-clapper in the pun vault)

What, stay quite still?