A VERY happy wedding...

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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Sgt. Howard » Sun Apr 02, 2017 10:41 pm

In June of 2015 I sang at my Niece's wedding- this served as the inspiration to write THIS segment of the story that has entertain y'all. The two in question had lived together for ten years prior- I commented, "you don't have to rush on MY account, mind you," - the wedding was everything I should expect from my family... even the police showed up... there were several rude fellows who wanted to dance with my daughter (who wasn't interested in them as they were looking to 'hook up' and ignoring her wedding band) and I had a ball frightening them- I did dance a 'Jenny Lind Polka' with my daughter and sang "Too fat Polka" in Polish...

I recently found out that marriage didn't last a year. He was stepping out, apparently, and Melita (my niece) didn't wish to tell me. I have been told that she's been beaten by this turdbucket a couple of times, there is a restraining order that he gleefully ignores and has taken to stalking her- and the San Jose Police department apparently have their hands full with stuff the news won't cover. Granted, I am hearing her side of the story only... but even so, it is disheartening to hear that this didn't work. There are two beautiful children here who will be the ultimate victims of this circus.

I have told her to call me if she needs to scream at somebody.
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Dave » Sun Apr 02, 2017 11:30 pm

Really sorry to hear that, Sarge!

To my way of seeing things, the phenomenon of males (I won't call them "men") going into this power-trippy, controlling, uses-violence-to-get-their-way, let-nothing-stop-them sort of dominance-dance is absolutely one of the scariest things about our species.

Chimpanzees seem to do the same sort of thing, apparently. Bonobos seem to know better.

Be there for her, as best as you can (and I know you will).
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby GlytchMeister » Fri Apr 14, 2017 4:17 pm

If it gets bad enough, you know where to find a man with an assortment of weapons and a cruel disposition toward wife beaters. :evil:
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Warrl » Fri Apr 14, 2017 4:29 pm

GlytchMeister wrote:If it gets bad enough, you know where to find a man with an assortment of weapons and a cruel disposition toward wife beaters. :evil:

I believe Sarge finds such a man every time he goes near a mirror...
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby GlytchMeister » Fri Apr 14, 2017 5:56 pm

True. But I bet he could find use for one or two more.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby FreeFlier » Sat Apr 15, 2017 2:13 am

Make sure you have alibis.

I suppose it's too much to hope he's in a risky occupation.

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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Sgt. Howard » Sun Apr 16, 2017 11:25 pm

We were never there- simple enough.

He's a big man who works out and pumps iron with gloves on- soft hands. Yeah, he could tie me into a pretzel,.. but he couldn't punch his way through jellow. I inherently don't trust men with soft hands, but I said nothing when I first met him... my bad...
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Dave » Sun Apr 16, 2017 11:35 pm

You're think that with all of the NSA technology leaked this week, they could at least have leaked the plans for an armed drone that has vision sensors programmed to look for armless T-shirts, and chemosensors tuned to the smell of stale Stella Artois...
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby lake_wrangler » Mon Apr 17, 2017 3:28 am

Dave wrote:You're think that with all of the NSA technology leaked this week, they could at least have leaked the plans for an armed drone that has vision sensors programmed to look for armless T-shirts,
Hey! I wear armless T-shirts all the time! (Particularly when I ride my bicycle...)

Dave wrote:and chemosensors tuned to the smell of stale Stella Artois...
Oh, well, I guess I'm safe, then... I don't drink alcohol at all... :mrgreen:
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Sgt. Howard » Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:38 am

Dave wrote:You're think that with all of the NSA technology leaked this week, they could at least have leaked the plans for an armed drone that has vision sensors programmed to look for armless T-shirts, and chemosensors tuned to the smell of stale Stella Artois...


The chemosensors are strictly tuned to find unstable nitrates.
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby GlytchMeister » Tue Apr 18, 2017 4:40 pm

Sgt. Howard wrote:
Dave wrote:You're think that with all of the NSA technology leaked this week, they could at least have leaked the plans for an armed drone that has vision sensors programmed to look for armless T-shirts, and chemosensors tuned to the smell of stale Stella Artois...


The chemosensors are strictly tuned to find unstable nitrates.


:?

Unstable nitrates? Hmm.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Dave » Tue Apr 18, 2017 4:48 pm

GlytchMeister wrote:Unstable nitrates? Hmm.

They can be useful. Tasty, too.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby DinkyInky » Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:32 am

Sgt. Howard wrote:We were never there- simple enough.

He's a big man who works out and pumps iron with gloves on- soft hands. Yeah, he could tie me into a pretzel,.. but he couldn't punch his way through jellow. I inherently don't trust men with soft hands, but I said nothing when I first met him... my bad...
It's not about force, but a matter of where you apply the pressure.

Shall I? Oh, please say I can.
Yanno how some people have Angels/Devils for a conscience? I have a Dark Elf ShadowKnight and a Half Elf Ranger for mine. The really bad part is when they agree on something.

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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Just Old Al » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:49 am

DinkyInky wrote:Shall I? Oh, please say I can.


Oh, VERY well. If you muust.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby Sgt. Howard » Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:34 pm

Just Old Al wrote:
DinkyInky wrote:Shall I? Oh, please say I can.


Oh, VERY well. If you muust.


Do you need the address?
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby GlytchMeister » Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:35 pm

Oh, it's about to get heavy.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Postby FreeFlier » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:10 pm

Hopefully not as heavy as a case I suspect . . . that was probably around 40 tons.

Logging is dangerous enough when your co-workers don't want you dead.

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